T. Scott Gross

Hawking, it’s the art of selling to mass audiences like you would find at a sporting event, carnival, or parade. It’s the job of a hawker to stand out but one stands above them all. He out-sells the other hawkers two, three, sometimes four to one! He stands out mostly because of his arresting pitch, never taking the easy way out, shouting, “Cold beer, here,” or “ice cold Coke, ice cold Coke!”

Nope, he just sings out, “That’s what I got! Thaaat’s what I got!”

And guess what the crowd wants to know… “what is it?” They are arrested!

I got to drive the shopping bus today navigating from one super sale to the next, dutifully camping in front of each store with other devoted husbands until the prizes appeared, waiting geek-like with my nose stuck in a business book, a yellow highlighter poking from my shirt pocket.

At one mall campsite a pleasant young woman, clipboard pressed against her chest, asked if I would participate in a marketing survey and promised a five dollar reward for ten minutes or so of my already loaded itinerary.

“Sorry,” I lied, instantly feeling guilty. “I don’t have time. Shopping duty,” I explained and then headed in search of a Radio Shack.

When I returned to my post in front of department store number three I smiled and asked how many participants she had landed while I was gone. “None,” she replied looking down as if checking to see if she was still wearing shoes.

Her pitch had been a straight-forward, “Excuse me, would you like to earn $5 for participating in a marketing study?”

“Let’s try something different. How about, ‘Can you help me out? We’re doing a marketing survey and I need two more participants to complete our panel. And… you’ll make a quick five bucks for sharing your opinion!’ ”

She mouthed the words in quick rehearsal. Almost immediately a mark appeared. Bamm! We got a hit!

My new research assistant winked at me as she led her catch to the survey room.

Back on post, she instantly zeroed in on what would become hit number two!

I can’t tell you that was the perfect pitch. In fact, I’m sure it wasn’t but it did make me think about the value of working on the pitch. I wanted to stick around to refine the pitch and calculate our batting average but was called away to reposition the SUV so my power shopper could stay on schedule.

I love a good pitch as much as I hate poorly constructed ones or pitches that seem contrived, mechanical, or intrusive.

I’d like to know who is the idiot who taught the cart vendors to accost shoppers with this blatant offense, “Can I ask you a question?”  (No. You may not.)

Even a poorly constructed pitch can work if the delivery is exceptional. We watched (at least I did) a tall, gorgeous, young woman saunter to her drink station at a local water park.  She popped up the bright umbrella, let the beach cover fall to her feet, and waited in a tiny string bikini for business to appear which took all of about ten seconds.

If you get even one part of the transaction really, really right the other parts can be a little wobbly.

Or how about our visit to Cancun where we mostly window shopped until hearing the world’s
best-worst pitch:  “Senor?  Help me get rid of this s_ _ _.” (Sanitized for your protection!)

Here’s what I wonder: How many sales are lost simply because the pitch wasn’t right? (Or never made!)

I see a great pitch as a three part process: hook, deal, and close. You can combine these three elements any way you want but all of them will be present in almost every successful transaction. If you want to see this process done by a pro, forget retailers and go to the masters, the carnies who operate the “stick joints” that line the midway at the county fair. Carnies have but split seconds to say or do something to grab your attention. ‘Think you’re that good?

(The following is excerpted from Borrowed Dreams.)

Think about it. A carnie must in an instant size you up and say something that will grab your attention, buy a little time, and allow him to set the hook.

Take all of your media budget and training programs. Compress them into three seconds and you begin to get a picture of what the carnie does instinctively. Take all of your focus groups and psychographic surveys and stuff them into a twelve-by-twelve booth with a colored awning and see how they would stack up against a carnie with a polished pitch.

If I have to give a name to what they do to make you look, I’d probably call it situational selling, although used car salesmen use a more colorful term, cold spearing. In a milli¬second, the experienced carnie sizes up the mark and creates a one-of-a-kind sales pitch.

Bone tired, I shuffled past the joints that should have been closed but were still milking marks for one last dollar. Two young women at the end of the last row of joints were comparing notes when I stopped to shoot the bull.

Their game was simple; pop two balloons with two darts and win a rather odd-looking hat that resembled something Dr. Seuss used to crown characters in Cat in a Hat (If you had kids, you’ll remember that one! The ‘prize’ was a gaudy, goofy hat that no one would want in the morning. Tall and floppy, made of plush something or the other, a stovepipe hat of garishly col¬ored rings. The customers loved them.

“So, give me your best pitch,” I asked.

“Easy….Hey, Bud! I can get you a better hat than that!” She snickered and pointed at my gimme cap, squatting low, mouth half-covered to make the mockery more dramatic.

A piece of cake. One quick glance and grab onto some¬thing, anything that you can use to personalize the pitch. Dr. Frazier Crane should be so astute.

Down the way, a rather earthy-looking carnie was wowing stragglers with a challenge to break beer bottles with a baseball. Everyone wants to break glass and here is this guy giving you permission… daring you, to do it in public, all you have to do is throw a baseball at a row of beer bottles (professionally emptied) stuck neck down in a two-by-six. One of the “marks” my grandmother would have described as a “tall drink of water” who was accompanied by a woman ten years his senior I would grudgingly describe as “pudgy in a too-short skirt.” They didn’t stand a chance.

“Win this for your little lady! Bet you can’t do it! Hey! Even girls can do this one!” (End of excerpt.)

Okay, not the best hook but it served the moment…customer’s attention focused, ready for the deal. Still, the carnie with the beer bottle bashing booth was smooth. And notice that the deal does not have to mention price, just terms. This last deal was simply, “Win this for your little lady.” And the close?  “Bet you can’t do it! Hey! Even girls can do this one!”

As if to prove he had mastered the art, the carnie added, “Wait! I’ll get you started.” With that he knocked off the top bottle and placed the two baseballs into the hands of the mark.

There is more, much more to be said about how to construct your “pitch.” For now think about all the opportunities we have to pitch our products, our services, our ideas. And think how you might use hook, deal, and close to crank up sales. Hey! Even girls can do this one!

If you have a sample pitch you are willing to share, please send it to me at Scott@TScottGross.com

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